Who's-Ever Next

It makes me insane when the customer service person looks me in the eye and says, "I can help who's-ever next."

First, that is a very cold and impersonal way to offer help. Who's-ever? I'm a who's-ever? They're looking directly at me! Why can't they just say, "May I help you?" or "I can help you now," or "What can I do for you?" But, "I can help who's-ever next"?

Stop it!

Second, who's-ever is incorrect grammar. Break down the contraction and the sentence becomes, "I can help who is ever next." Who says that? The correct way to make that statement is, "I can help whoever is next." Actually, probably "whomever" would be correct, but that's expecting too much.

So at the very least, if the customer service person is going to be cold and impersonal, I wish they'd at least say, "I can help whoever is next."

But seriously, if they know I'm the next one in line, just say, "May I help you?"

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