Surrender

Photo Credit: from S.J. Wickham

• "Surrender don't come natural to me. I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want than to take what You give that I need." Rich Mullins, "Hold Me Jesus"

Rich Mullins has always been one of my top favorite artists. His words are real...real struggles, real pain, real praise, real faith.

Each time I hear "Hold Me Jesus" on my iPod I turn it up just a little bit louder. It's a beautiful prayer written by Rich to our Father in heaven, asking Him for help with his faith. I always sing along as if I were praying it too. We seem to fragile in our existence sometimes when God is such a big God.

But then it gets to the bridge...

• "Surrender don't come natural to me..."

Well, does it come natural to anybody? It sure doesn't come natural to me either! I have plenty of friends and acquaintances who struggle with surrender.

• "...I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want than to take what You give that I need."

Uhhhh, WHY do I do this? God ALWAYS has our best interest at heart, so why do we fight Him?

I used to get so frustrated with my kids when I would tell them of a life experience I had in hopes they would learn through my mistake and not have to make it themselves, and they would just look the other way out of indifference. They didn't want to be "lectured"; they knew it all! THEY weren't so dumb as to make the wrong choice.

But then they did and it broke my heart and it was all I could do to keep from saying, "I told you so."

Yet, I do the same thing with God. I don't want to listen. I want MY way in MY time. But then the mistake comes. I make the wrong choice. I didn't choose what HE had that was what I NEEDED. I chose instead to pick the thing I didn't really want in the first place. And it breaks God's heart, but I know He's not waiting to say, "See, I told ya so." Praise God, no! He's waiting for me to admit my mistake and ask forgiveness and move past it.

I'm thankful He's not like me, but I want to be more like Him!

• Surrender - to yield to the power of another: give up under compulsion 2: relinquish

I will try to remember to relinquish MY will for HIS will, otherwise I'll end up beating my head against a wall before I fall to my knees - in surrender.

Read my previous post: "Just A Thinking of the Past" (Part 3)